The poop in my toilet is disappearing

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I don't get it. I have been up day and night worrying about what is happening. I have tried calling the police, the priest and even paranormal investigators but nobody is returning my calls. I think this thing is blocking my signal from the astral plane.

Every morning at 8 AM, I take my dump in the bathroom next to our kitchen, wipe and leave. Yet every day, when I go back it's gone. Day in, day out. I ask my roommates about if they've felt a haunted spectre underneath their butts after shitting but all I get from them is "you're the most fucking disgusting roommate I've ever had to live with. We decided you need to move out. Like right now." So obviously this specter or ghost or whatever is interfering with normal thought. Not gonna lie guys, I'm scared shitless.

Thoughts?



Credited to monthlyduck 

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