Trump's True Identity
I was just doing my job as janitor in a top secret government institution when I saw a guy read some documents before screaming and shooting himself in the face seventeen times.
I hated my life and wanted to kill myself, so I went to read the documents, hoping they would be some super spooky alien transcripts that force the reader to commit suicide.
However, the truth was far worse.
It showed a totally not-photoshopped picture of Donald Trump with a trumpet instead of a face and some robotic bits, popping out of a grave while riding a UFO, carrying a cutlass, and holding a lasso. He also had a katana on his back, a knight helmet on his head, and he had gills.
DONALD TRUMP IS ACTUALLY A NINJA PIRATE ROBOT ALIEN COWBOY ZOMBIE SAMURAI KNIGHT FISH TRUMPET PERSON!
"If you are reading this top-secret document, then you have discovered the truth about Donald Trump. As you can tell from the photo, this presidential candidate is a ninja pirate robot alien cowboy zombie samurai knight fish trumpet person. Congratulations on finding out the truth. So, what now? Well, we also discovered that Donald Trump(et) is also plotting to take over The United States Of America and turn it into a socialist communist nazist leftist rightist fascist city-state populated entirely by pandas and penguins. Using his unstoppable army of pandas and penguins, he would then take over Russia and Best Korea and use the nuclear weapons from those countries to blow up the UK. He would then obtain the rights to Doctor Who from BBC (which would be completely destroyed) and have it air from Luxembourg. He would use this to study time travel and then, when he perfected the art of time travel, he would go back in time and give Leonardo da Vinci a blowjob in return for a high-quality oil painting of himself. He would then give this portrait to his wife since he forgot about their anniversary ten years ago. That is Donald Trump(et)'s real plan, and the only way to stop him is to not vote for him. This will cause Donald Trump(et) to lose, which will cause John Travolta to go on an unstoppable killing spree in which he massacres Donald Trump(et) and all penguins and pandas in the world. Now that you know the truth, please shoot yourself. This is an order".
I was genuinely spooked by this 9spooky11me document.
But what scared me the most was a tiny detail in the photo that nobody had noticed.
On Donald Trump(et)'s chest was a small name tag that said 'Mr. Skeltal'.
doot doot
Credited to DoctorFredbear
Originally uploaded on August 21, 2015
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
