Uncle's Basement
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NSFW WARNING
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Author's note: This is a parody of https://old.reddit.com/r/nosleep/3bdx6n
I've lived in the basement of my uncle for the past 20 years. Tonight I saw an advertisement on Craigslist.
I hid behind the closet next to the door to the room with the pc in it. I leaned my nose against the wood of the door so I could hear stuff. I heard my aunt throw something on the ground and I fell to sleep.
I usually wake up in my bed. I do so to avoid weird looks from my uncle, he doesn't consider my pink jumpsuit "eye candy". Of course I didn't have a mattress, who the fuck buys those things anyway. I awoke yet again, my face against my virgin gray toes. I leaned my face against the door once more. I heard a "blblblbl" sound. I thougt the goldfish was drowning so I opened the door to check on him.
"FOR FUCKS SAKE, BILL! KNOCK BEFORE YOU OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" I saw my uncle masturbating in front of our PC to some chimpanzees eating each other's poop. He quickly ran out of the room, pulling his red boxers over his ice cream cone legs and his belly fat.
I shrugged and then I went to Bing. I bingled "free jobs" and came to this site called gregs list. Some mom wanted me to clean her house so I took my aunt's bicycle and bicycled for five kilometers. When I arrived the door was locked and I saw a fat redneck sleep on the couch. I walked around the house and opene the back door and then I ate all his food and drew a dick on his belly and then I went to the bathroom and I saw a bald man and then I looked in the mirror and got spooked by the bald man.
Originally uploaded on June 28, 2015
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