User:GodzillaFan1/Archive (2018)/Deleted Pastas Archive
Crappy pastas I made that were deleted. Beware, this is some of the most unfunny stuff you will ever read.
ZOMG I THINK I SAW BIGFOOT!!!!
Originally published March 23rd, 2013
[[File:BIGFOOT.png|thumb|310px|ZOMG BIGFOOT WIT TA DK TIE!!!!]]
SO GUYZ, I WENT TO GO CAMPING AND I SAW A TALL HAIRY CREATURE IN TEH WOODS!!!!!11 I WALKED UP TO TEH CREATURE AND IT WAZ BIGFOOT!!!!!!!!!!!111 BUT, IT HAD A TIE TAT SAID "DK" SO TAT MEANS ITS DONKEY KONG!!!!!!!!111 HOWEVER I SAW A ZIPPER ON TEH BACK OF DONKEY KONG!!!!!11 SO I UNZIPED IT AND IT WUZ BIGFOOT IN UH COSTUME!!!!!!!!!!111 BUT, I SAW A ZIPPER ON TEH BACK OF BIGGFOOT. SO I UNZIPPED IT AND THEN A SKELETON POPED OUT!!!!!!!11
Teh Lost Pukymun Gheym
Originally published March 27th, 2013
[[File:Pyakman_blue_blood.png|thumb|280px|Dis is wut teh gayem looked liked.]]
So i wuz sky diving, awn when i hit da ground.......I saw a gayem on teh ground dat said "Pokemon: DIE version". WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????? THERE IS NU POKEYMON GAEM CALLED POKYEMOAN DIE VERSTION!!!!!!!!!!!111 DIS MUST BE UH HACKED OR GLITCH GGGGAAAYYYMM!!!!!!!!!1111 So i got teh gaheym and ran home to play dis fancy gahym. I put teh gayme in mah gaymeboy awnd started tu played it. The title screen said "STOP PLAYING OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE!!!" I WUZ SCARED!!!!!!!!!!11 But, i played dit aunyway. For some reason......It said i wuz in lavandur town. I WUZ LIKE WUT TEH FUQK!!!!!??? As i walked to teh pokeyman center......A text box appeard awnd said "BEWARE OF THE BLOOD BEAST!!!" When that message popped up, i felt sick to my stomach. I went in to the pukyman center AWND DARE WUZZ DIS BEAST WIT BLOD ON DIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 So i got teh gayem awnd threw it out teh winda. I will never forget teh day i played Pokeyman DIE version............................. Later......................
Mayn, iym tired. I better go to bhed.
I'm laying in mah bed awnd i fell something shacking teh bhed!!!!!!11
I looked on teh side of teh bed...............................
And a skeleton popped out...............................................and took me..............................to................my.............frezzer...............................and........................make me frezze to death.........................................................I'M DED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 THE END OR IS IT
Super Mario Sunshine: THERES BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Originally published March 1st, 2013
[[File:Blod_msa.png|thumb|257px|BLOOD OVER LOAD!!!!]]
I'm you're basic average person. I live alone and barley anything to do. All i have is a Gamecube with no games. Theres this one popalur game for the Gamecube called Super Mario Sunshine. I really wanted to play the game, but all i have is 6$. I'm also pretty sure that gamestop dosnt have any Gamecube games anymore.
1 DAYS LATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got back from work. I think i will just go take a ride down town. As I'm going by the block, i see a creepy house. There also seems to be a yard sale there. I got out of my car and went to go see what was at this yard sale. Theres this CREEPY OLD MAN!!!!! I KID YOU NOT!!!!! As i look at the table full of carp, i didn't see any thing intresting exept for one thing. There was dis boxxx just seting there on the box it said "THIS IS A BOXXX FULL OF GAY CRAP! SO DON'T LOOK IN IT CUZ DARE IS CREEPY STUFF TO!!!!!" I opened da boxxx anyway and inside was crap. I lift up the carp and behind it was SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 HOLY **** I FOUND IT!!!!!!!11 OH **** I WONDER HOW MUCH IT COAST!? I asked the creepy old man how much the game coast and he said it was FREE!!!!!!11 I know what you're thinking "You're so cl'iche! Every creepypasta i read always has creepy old men and giving a way a hacked/haunted game away for FREE!" Who cares! Dis is da trollpasta wiki and i can write any cliche thing i want!!! Anyways, i drove home to play da gayhme. When i walked in my house, the beer bottles on my table started falling off!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!! MY HOUSE IS POSSESED!!!! I THINK DIS GAEME IS HUNTED BUT WHO CRAES!!!! I JUST WANT TO GO PLAY THIS GAYME!!!!! I noticed something starange about the case cover. MARIO WAS BLEEDING AND THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!!!! who cares. I put the game in the Gamecube and started to play. I had to watch the cutscense and it said that the story was about cleaning BLOOD of da island!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Wait a minute, thats not the story. The story is about Mario cleaning up the crap of the island NOT blood. SO THAT MEANS THIS IS DA HACK GAYME!!!!!! I played a little more.....untill something SCARED MEH!!!!! Mario as this machine on his back in the game called Fludd. Fludd is suposed to shoot out water, but in dis HACK GAME Fludd shoots out BBBBLLLLLOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 So i turend da gahyme off. I got dat game and threw it out da winda. When i threw it out dat winda a dog came in mah house and strated to EAT MEEEHHH!!!!!! I got my beer bottle and stabed da evuil dog. The dog jumped out da winda and came back and in da dogs mouth was dat mareo gahyme!!!!1 OH SSSSSSSHHHHHETTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! So i jumped out dat winda and rand into da pond to burend dat gayme!!! I gat mah liter in burend da gahyme dusk!!!11 i threw it in da pound. Then a skeloten popped out da pond and we had da beer togheter! da skeloton said beh a skelloton like meh pleaze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So i skind mah seellff alive now i look like a skeloton!!!! Me and dat skeloton are friends naw!!!!!! THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
Pokemon: Lavender Blood
Originally published November 11th, 2012
I'M A DIE HARD POKEMON FAN!!!!!!! So i went to the bathroom to go take a dump. I looked behined the toilet for no reason and i saw something that would CHANGE MY LIFE!!!!! It was a pokemon game!!!!!!1 OMG!!!!!1 It was the blue verstion. BLUE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!!!!!!!!!!1111 I got my gameboy advaced sp and started playing. When i started, the game freak logo was coverd in BLOOD!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! I started in lavender town for some odd reason. I went to talk to an NPC and he said "Bring me lavender blood right now!" WHAT DA FAQK?!??!!? So i walked around for a little and found a river.......................................COVERD IN BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 WHAT IS GOING ON I CAN'T TAKE IT OH MY GOSH I AM GOING TO FAUQKING KEEL MAH SLEEEEEEF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I turend the game off and i went to the creek outside and drowed myslef in the river and the river turend into BLOOD!!!!!!!11 While i was dying i herd a voice that said "You diden't give me my lavender blood so i gave you the curse named suiside!" WHAT WAS HE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!?????/ It dosent matter because i'm dead.............................
A KILLER Walked in my House! No!
Originally published January 18th, 2013
Today i got up and went outside to check the mail and I GOT MAIL!!!!!!!=D=D=D=D. Then i walked up to my door and all of a sudden someone stabed me in the CHEST!!!!!!!!!!!! UUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!! IT HURSTS SO BAD!!!!!!!!! I quickly ran in to my house and picked up the phone to call the COPS!!!!!!! As i picked up the phone the killer started pooring cereal on THE FLOOR!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!! as my chest was bleeding i fell to the floor and started to DIE!!!!! The killer was laghing so bad my ears where bleeding!!!!! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! The killer ran outside and started to break my mailbox with the SLUDGE HAMMER!!!!!!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPING!!!! I'm bleeding to death and my mailbox is forever broken!!!!! Oh, theres also cereal and blood all over the floor. I'm dead now so i should stop complaing. DA END
M4R10 VS. R41NB0W D45H
Originally published April 10th, 2013
SO 1 DAY, M4R10 FOUND A HOT AIR BALLOON. HE RODE ON IT AND IT TOOK HIM TO P0NYVILL. (OR IS IT EQUESTRIA? IDK) DEN R41NB0W D45H SAW M4R10!!! R41NB0W D45H HATED PLUMERZ!!! S0 R41NB0W D45H KICKED M4R10 IN TEH BALLZ REALLY HARD!!!! DEN M4R10 GOT A NIFE AUWND ST4B3D R41NB0W D45H!!! DEN DARE WAS HYP3R RE4L1ST1C BL00D ALL OV3R T3H PLACE!!!!! DEN LU1G1 CAME TO POUNYVILL ON A[[File:Squidwards_Suicide.png|thumb|DIS IS WUT LUIGI LOOKED LIKED!!!]] J33P!!!! AND DEN LU1G1 54W M4R10 DIED!!!! LU1G1 DEN TUR3ND HYPUR R3L1ST1C AWUND L00K3D L1K3D D1S!!!!! -------------------------------------------->
SP4RKL3 TW1L1T DEN S4W R41NB0W D45H DIED AWUND SOME FAT PLUMER DIED!!!LU1G1 DEN BL3W UP H1S FAC3 AWUND DIED........SO DID SP4RKL3 TW1L1T!!!!!!
THE END
OH, AUWND EQUESTRIA WUS FL00DED WITH (GET READY...)
- BL00D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
- THE REAL END!!!!
The Scry Dresser
Originally published August 13th, 2013
]So one day, I went to go change my clothes, my clothes were in the dresser. I opened the dresser and there was blood all over the clothes. I was like "WTF?", "Why is my cloths covered in blood?". I went to go wash the blood off of my clothes.
I went back to my dresser and I saw blood dripping from it! I got a hose and washed the dresser. Then I was like "Forget it, I'm going to bed". Then while I was sleeping, I heard a noise coming from my dresser. I went to go see what it was, then....something horrible happened.... A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND KILLED ME!!!!!!!11
THE END
LuigiTV.JPEG
Originally published November 13th, 2012
[[File:Luigi_watching_paper_virew.png|thumb|272px|DAT IS SCARY MAN!!!!11]]
Da picture dat changed mah life..............................
April 28th 2013
One day i was scrared as SSSHHEEETTTT!!!!!!!111 So i downloaded scary pictures. OH SSSHHHHEETTTTT!!!!!!!1111 I found this scary ASSSSSSSS!!!!! picture called LuigiTV.JPEG. I downloaded the MATER FAQKER ASAP to see what it looked like! IT WAS SOOOOOO SACRY!!!!!!!!!!!!111 OH SHHHHHEEEEEEETTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!11111 Luigi was watching TV and that shadow on the wall SCARED THE SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHEEEEETTTTTT OUT OF MEEEEE!!!!!1111 SO I'M KELLING MAH SEELF!!!!!!111 AAAAAAAHHHHHGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
September 17th 2013
I remember that old picture LuigiTV.JPEG. I found it again but this time i wasen't scared and i diden't won't to kill mahself. Maybe i was just acting like a baby that day. OR WAS I !!!!!!!!!!!!111
I remember what i saw. The picture looked wierd this time!!! The room was bloody and so was LUIGI!!!!!!1111 I REMEMBER WHY I WAS CRAPING MY PANTS!!!!!!!!111
[[File:Ignore.png|thumb|302px|I SEE WHY I WAS SCARED!!!!]]
I think i should die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 BECUZ MAH LIFE SUCKS AND THIS PICTURE SCARES MEH SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 I will never get to drink beer now, i will never get drunk!!!!!11 Because dying is the best thing i can do to stay away from this sick picture! I got the knif and began cutting my self!!! Blood got on the floor and i was SCREAMING OUT OF PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 My arm is falling off and i feel like I'm dying!!!!!!111 UUUUUUUggghhhhhhh!!!!!11
September 19th 2013
I'm in the hospital right now so that sucks. MAN, WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!????? My friend came to vist me and he gave me a card to cheer me up! I opened it and LuigiTV.JPEG WAS IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
IM DEAD THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 UUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1111
THE END
Sonic.EXE: The After Years
Originally published April 10th, 2013
[[File:SONIC_exe_5.png|thumb|302px|The title screen]]I'm a total Sonic fan, much like everyone else. I don't think i have read a glitchy or hacked creepypasta. It all started on a nice sunny day. I was playing Sonic Generations. (i like how you can explore the missions) Until i noticed out of my peripheral vision, that the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailbox as usual and left. I paused my game to go see what I got in the mail... The only thing in the Mailbox was a case and a note. On the note was very weird writing. I don't even think its English. I just went in my house and put the note inside my computer to translate it. Here's what it had said.
"Derick,
I can't take it anymore. This creepypasta is driving me INSANE! Something isn't right about this pasta. BURN IT! Before he gets you!
- Kyleton"
ITS KYLETON! MY FRIEND! I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM IN 2 DAYS! He said burn it because "He was after me". Who is after me and why is he after me? I opened up the case and inside was a creepypasta called "Sonic.EXE" . I was like, COOL!
I just got done reading the pasta and i have to say.....I'M REALLY SCARED!!! I could barely read it and a lot of stuff was changed about it. It also came with a picture of the title screen. But, it was a MESSED UP picture of the title screen. Sonic's face was covered in BLOOD and the water was a blood blue color. Then all of a sudden i felt something wet on my arm. I looked and it was BLOOD!!! HOW DID BLOOD GET ON MY ARM!? I went to go wash the blood off and for some odd reason there was no cut on me. Well, how did the blood get there i asked myself? I went back into my room and there was a SONIC PLUSHIE STANDING ON MY CEILING WITH BLOOD DRIPPING FROM ITS MOUTH! (so that's how the blood got on my arm)
THE END....
Forest of Blood
Originally published November 13th, 2012
One day i was walking in teh woods and i got LOST!!! I tryed to call my friend and for some reason MY IPHONE WASEN'T WORKING!!!!! I kept walking and walking then I FOUND SOMETHING!!!! It was a bucket! I looked in the bucket and there was BLLOOOOD!!!!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF BBBLLLLOOOOODDD!!!!!! I ran away from the bucket and found a well! I looked in it and it had BBBLLLLOOOODDD!!!!1 What the FUQK is going on? I toched a tree with my hand and MY HAND HAD BLOOD ON IT!!!!!!111 There was this HUGE hole in the tree so i went to hide in it! When i went in A SKELETON POPED OUT AND TREW BLOOD AT MEH!!!!!!11
THE END
Call of Duty: For Kids!
Originally published January 18th, 2013"
[[File:CODFKd.png|thumb|Here's what the game looks like!!!11]]The CREEPIEST thing happend to me. I was at Gamestop and i saw a game i have never seen in my whole LIFE!!!!!! There was a game called Call of Duty: for KIDS! I WAS LIKE WTF?!!?!?!?! So i left then went to Wal-Mart. I was looking in the clothes section and found Call of Duty shirts............for KIDS AGES 6 AND UP!!!!!!! WTF MAN!!!111 I later found preschool toys............THAT SAID CALL OF DUTY BLACK OPS FOR KIDS!!!! I'M FREEEAKING OUT !!!!!11111111111This is worst than Angry Birds!!!! Then i went home to watch some TV. I was fliping trew the channles and saw a show on the Disney Channel called Call of Duty: Camping Is Magic. WTF!!!!!!1111!?!?!!?!?!? Heres what the description said on the show: Help Soap and his best friends to have a the best gun muisical of there lifes. They need to make a muiscal with there guns that go BOOOM!!! BOOOOM!!! Soap will need help from his amazing helpful and nice friends to show the super power of teamwork! I THINK I'M GONNA KEEEELLL MY FAQKING SELF!!!! FFFFFAAAQQKKKK!!!! UUUUGGHHH!!!!!
[[File:DA_SHURTS.png|thumb|DA SHURTS]]
I'm dead now...................burning.................in my oven. THE END OR IS IT
PATRIXXX Eats Dat Hamburger
Originally published February 26th, 2013
[[File:Burger-patrick.jpg|thumb|272px|PATRIXX EATING A CARTOON HAMBURGER IN UH CARTOON!!!11]] ONE DAY. PATRIXXX FIND A HAMBUGA ON DA GRASS. HE PICKED IT UPED AND STARTED TO EAT IT!!! THERE WAS GREESE DRIPING DOWN HIS MOUTH AND CHEESE STUCK IN HIS THEETH!!! HE WAS ENJOYING IT SO MUCH!!!!!! TEN, DA EVILLL PATRIXXX CAME. HE WAS JELOUS OF PATRIXXX HAMBUGA!!!!!! EVUILLL PATRIXX GOT HIS HAND AND SHOVED IT IN PATRIXXX MOUTH AND TOOK DA HAMBUGA!!!! EVUILLL PATRIXXX STARTED TO EAT DA HAMBUGA AND SPIT OUT AND AND AND AND VOMITED EVERY WHWEREEW!!!!!!1 PATRIXXX GOT HIS LAZZZA HAND AND PUNCHED EVUIL PATRIXXX WIT DAT LAAAAZZZA HAAND. PATRIIXXX PUCKED UP DA BURUGAH AND ATE [[File:Ivil_paxtrixx_etin_fud.jpg|thumb|PATRIXXX EATZ DA BURGUH]]IT!!!!! HE TEN GO A SINK AND PUT WHELLS ON IT AND TROVE OFF IN TEH SUNSET!!!!!
Santa Sends Kids Death Threats
Originally published November 11th, 2012
[[File:Dat_muocho.png|thumb|252px|I bet this FAQKER is behind it!!!!!!]] I'm a stupid 9 year old kid that beileves in a fat man named SANTRA CRUZ and he is awesome!!!!! He gives dah kids kewl stuff HOW AWESOME IS DAT!!!!!!!!!???????????
Chirstmas 2010
I got the following things from Santa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Bucket Of Blood
- Skullz
- Meth and a Death Threat that told me to die! =(
Christmas 2011
HOLYZ CRAP i got MOAR stuff from SRANTA!!!!!!!!!!!1
- Knifs
- Blades
- A bunch of Scary Movies!!!!!!! DX
- Bones
- A dead Turkey and Goat poop. =(
Christmas 2012
SRANT CRUX HATES MEH AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WWWWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!11111 DX
- Bloody Tooth
- Bag Of Puke
- Cup of Pee
- Toilet (With poop stains on it)
- NEW PANTS!!! YEAH!!!!!!! oh waith theres poop stains on them. =(
Christmas 2013
- DEATH (HE FINALLY KILLED ME (ALSO I'M FROM THE FUTURE))
Dashie.EXE
Originally published April 11th, 2013
[[File:Dashieexe.png|thumb|168px]] Dashie.EXE is a Trollpasta about a strange MLP game CD that could be either glitchy, hacked or possibly made by someone (or "something") other than Hasbro...
The Pasta
I'm a total My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic fan much like everyone else, I like the newer episodes, but I don't mind watching the classics. I don't think I've ever saw a glitchy or lost episode before, though I don't think I want to watch any after the experience I had...
It started on a nice winter afternoon, I was watching the last episode of season 3. (I like how the animation looks) until I noticed, out of my peripheral vision, that the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailbox as usual and left. I paused the episode to go see what I got in the mail... The only thing in the Mailbox was a CD case for computers.
I looked at the disc and it looks like any ordinary computer CD-R disc, except it had black marker on it written "DASHIE.EXE", and it was much unlike ANYONES handwriting, meaning that he must've gotten it from someone else, like a pawn shop or eBay. When I saw the word "DASHIE" on the writing of the CD, I was actually excited and wanted to play it, since I'm a a BIG MLP:FIM fan.
I went up to my room and turned on my computer and put the disc in and installed the game. When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was unlike any episode i have seen. I was like "Awesome! I think i just found a lost episode!" Because like I said earlier I never saw a lost episode before. The first thing I noticed that was out of place was when I pressed start, there's was a split second when I saw the title image turned into something much different, something that I now consider horrifying, before cutting to black.
I remember what the image looked like in that split second before the episode cut to black; The sky had darkened, the title name was rusted and ruined, the Hasbro 2010 was now instead Hasbro 666, and the grass had turned red, like blood, except it looked hyper-realistic.
But the freakiest thing that was in that split second frame was Rainbow Dash, her eyes were pitch black and bleeding with two glowing red dots staring RIGHT AT ME, and her smile had stretched wider up to the edge of her face. I was rather disturbed about that image when I saw it, though I figured that it was just a glitch and forgot about it. After it cut to black it stayed like that for about 100 seconds or so. And then another weird thing happened, a save file select screen popped up and I was like "WTF? I THOUGHT THIS WAS A LOST EPISODE!!!" anyway, then I notice something off, the background was the dark cloudy sky, and there were only three save files. The music was a reverse version of the opening from MLP. And the image for the save file where you see a preview of the level you're on is just red static for all three files.
What freaked me out more was the character select, it showed only Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle (in the stage select it said "Sparkle Twilight") and to my surprise, Fluttershy!
That's when I realized that this wasn't a glitchy game, it was a hacked game.
Yeah it definitely looked hacked, it was really creepy, but as a smart gamer, I wasn't scared (or at least I tried not to be), I told myself that it was just a hacked game and there's nothing wrong with that. Anyways, shaking off the creeped out feeling I picked File 1 and chose Pinkie Pie and when I selected and got started. The game froze for about 256 seconds and I heard a creepy pixelated laugh that sounded an awful lot like Rainbow Dash.
The screen stayed black for about 665 seconds or more, then the level started up. I was playing as Pinkie Pie. I also noticed that the level looked liked Pinkie Pie's secret chamber from that Cupcakes Creepypasta. Anyway, I moved Pinkie Pie down these dark stairs. I then found the table that Pinky Pie dysected Rainbow Dash on. I moved right and Pinkie Pie wouldn't move right. Then all of a sudden, Pinky Pie was runnig really fast to the right without me pressing a single button. Then Rainbow Dash came floating towrds Pinky Pie. Rainbow Dash then got a knife a slit Pinkie Pie's head off. Raindow Dash got her head and STEPED ON IT LAUGHING!!! I got so scared, I turend the computer off and took a nap.
After I got done taking a nap, I went back to my computer to continue the game. It said I beat the Pinky Pie level and I can continue to the next one. The next level was the Twilight Sparkle level. (I'm just going to call her Twilight) I was playing as Twilight and the level took place in her house. I went to the book shelf and pressed the A button. A note popped up and said "Shes coming for YOU TOM!". Wait what? How did the came just know my name? This must be a HAUNTED game! Anyway, i waited for 2 seconds and then Spike came out of nowhere. He looked very sad and what to be hyper-realistic blood driping from his eyes. Twilight looked very worried and she started to look around the room. Then out of nowhere came Rainbow Dash. She got a chainsaw and cut Spikes head off. Twilight was crying really hard, then Rainbow Dash cut Twilight's head off. I was horrified what have just happend.
It took me back to the level slelect screen and said i could move on to the next level. It was FLUTTERSHY!!! I was shocked because, aren't Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy supposed to be best friends? I was scared what Raindow Dash might do to Fluttershy. As scared as I was, i clicked the level and I was being Fluttershy and the stage was pitch black. I keep walking to the right for about 150 seconds and Rainbow Dash popped out of nowhere and said "I AM 20 percent more cooler!!!". Fluttershy was crying and Rainbow Dash look liked she felt bad for Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash then came to Fluttershy and gave her a hug. But......when she gave her a hug..........SHE CUT FLUTTERSHY'S HEAD OFF WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!!!!!!!!
That's it, I'm done playing this fuqkin' evil game. I pressed the power button on my computer and it wouldn't SHUT OFF!!! Rainbow Dash was staring at me.....smiling......with very sharp hyper realistic teeth hanging out. The screen went to static and the computer shut off by it self. I then heard Rainbow Dash's voice coming from behind me..........and when i looked................. A SKELETON POPPED OUT.
THE END
Squidward's Suicide: Lost Episode
Originally published: November 6th, 2013
NOTE: This is my 7-year old sister's story she made up (lol). So I decided to make a pasta about it.
I was an intern at Nick studios, and I know the truth to Squidwa- *gets snatched*
WHERE AM I?
Weird voice says "watch this"
The episode played and it showed Spongebob and Patrick talking to poor Squidward in the Krusty Krab. Squidward took his clothing off, because he screwed up on an order. Spongebob says: "If you hate your life so much, Squidward, then why don't you just kill yourself?" Squidward took his naked body to the edge of the Bikini Bottom cliff; where he proceeded to suicide himself...
Squidward jumps off of the cliff and explosions start to happen. Squidward lands in spikes and survived. The crowd yelled in excitement, which I thought was very odd... It then shows a giant bullet heading towards Squidward very slowly. The bullet hits him, and he falls to the spike covered floor once again. Mr. Krabs goes to the bottom of the cliff, and pinches Squidward's nose and made it bleed really bad. The crowd roared in excitement once again, and Squidward was finally dead.
After I watched that horrifying lost episode, the guy who kidnapped me slip my throat and I died. THE END
Slenderman Touches A Penny
Originally published: February 23rd 2013
[[File:180px-Malleo.png|thumb|139px|Hey look! Its Malleo! (He has nothing to do with dis PASTA!)]]
HELLO KIDZ!!!!! I'M DA SLENDAMAN!!!!!! TODAY WE ARE GOING TO GO OUTSIDE!!!!!!!
As Slenderman walked down the street, he saw something shiny on the ground.
SLENDAMAN: What the **** is this?
Slendaman gaysed at this shiny circle for about 40 seconeds.
SLENDAMAN; I think i will touch it!
Slendaman touches da shiny thing.
SLENDAMAN: OH MY GOSH!!!! IT FEELS LIKE MEDAL!!!
Slendaman touches this shiny thing once again.
SLENDAMAN: I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE MEDAL THAT SHINES!!!!
This shiny thing called a "penny" starts talking?
DA PENNY: Hello there white face!
SLENDAMAN: WTF did you just call me?
DA PENNY: Sorry. Was that rasist?
SLENDAMAN: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ****ING IDIOT!!!!!!
DA PENNY: DON'T YOU SWEAR AT ME!!!!!!!!
SLENDAMAN: **** YOU!!!!!!
DA PENNY: OKAY, THATS IT!!!!!!
SLENDAMAN: ?
Da penny explodes!
SENDAMAN: OH ****!!!!!!
Da white faced man diess......so dose the penny! Now theres blood everywhere because its a creepypasta and creepypastas are supposed to have blood!!!!
EPILOUG!!!!!
HEY KIDZ!!!! I'M A KID TO, BUT I'M 20 YEARS OLDER THAN A KID!!! DO YOU KIDS WANT TO SEE SOMETHING FUNNY? YES!!! OKAY!!! HERES A DEAD TALL MAN WITH 30 ARMS AND NO FACE!!! ISN'T THAT FUNNY OR.....CREEPY?! D=
THE END
Pukyman: Soul Spirit (ITS A HACK GAME!)
Originally published: February 13th 2013
[[File:Deoxys Is Evolving?|thumb|right|340px|da vidya.]]
Before i start my story i must say this story is REAL!!!!! I know ALL creepypastas are fake but this is the ONLY creepypasta that is REAL!!!!
CHAPTER 1: I FOUND A GAYME!!
I was on vacation in china and i went to the generic video game store. I searched the bargin bins and found a Pokemon game called Pokemon:Soul Spirt for the Game Boy Advanced. It was only 15$ so i bought it. I have never saw a Pokemon game called dat in my whole life! I had my original Game Boy Advanced but it was at the china hotle i was staying at. I quicklly ran to the hotle to play this mystreious game. I fired up the game in my crappy Game Boy Advaced and started to play.
CHAPTER 2: ITS A HACK GHEYME WHO KNEW???!!!!
I noticed that the game play like da uda pukeymun gayme on da gheym buy edvaced. (sorry for my crappy spelling I'm a troll.) So this must be a HACK GHEYME!!!!!!11 HOLY CRAP I BOUGHT A HACKED PUKYMUN GHEYME ON ACCIDENT HOW ORIGINAL!!!!!!11 I ran in the grass and found a pok-e-mon named: DEOXYS!!!!!!1 I only had a Mudkip and 550 pok-e-ball-z. HOW WILL I CATCH THIS THING WITH PUKYBALLESZ?!!! So i threw the P-o-k-e-b-a-l-l and it CAUGHT IT!!!!!1111 HOLY CRAP I GOT IT WITH ONE POKEBALLLLSS!!!!!1111
CHAPTER 3: DEOXYS PLUSH KILLS MEH!!!!!!????
YES! I got Deoxys..........wait whayt? The ghyme sez "What? DEOXYS is evolving!" WWHHHHAAAATTTTT????!?!?!!? DEOXYS CAN'T EVOLVE ITS IMPOSSIBAL!!!!!!! I SHOULD STOP SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS A HACKED GAME AND ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!!!!!1111 Okay. So Deoxys evolved into Aggron...............FFFFUUUUHHH!!!!!11 I'M DONE PLAYING THIS STUPID HACK GHEYME!!!!!!!1111 So i threw the gay game out the window. All of a sudden a chiness guy saw the game laying on the ground and he screamed and ran off!!!! I was like WTF? I looked behined me and saw A DEOXYS PLUSH ON MY BED WITH BLOOD RED EYS!!!!!!!111 HE GOT HIS ARM AND STABED ME NOW I'M DEAD........i think.
The Gaming Vita
Originally published: February 28th 2013
[[File:The_gaying_vita.png|thumb|340px|ENCHROUDOUCEING: DA GAMING VITA!!!!!11]]
I was at a yard sale and found a strange box that said. "DO NOT OPEN!!!" I was curious what was in dat box. So i talked to the owner of the yard sale. He was some creepy looking old man. I said "Whats in that box?" He said "Oh my gosh! Do you want it?" I said "Whats in it?" He said. "Oh my! Its the worst game system of all time, so i don't recomended you buy it." I said. "I buy crappy game sytems anyway so i want it. So, how much is it?" He said. "Its for FREE!!!" I diden't ask why it was free, but who cares now i have the worst game sytem of ALL TIME!!! I traveld home to hook it up. I walked in the front door and opend the box up. Inside was a manual, the game consoel and bits and pieces of chips and other stuff. I looked in the manual to learn how to hook it up. The first page said this:
"Thank you for purchasing the Gaming Vita! The system was very very rushed! So we diden't have the time to build the system. You will have to put it tougher your self! Have fun hoocking up the Gaming Vita!"
[[File:GAYING_VIDA_BAG.png|thumb|278px|DA BAG FULL OF CRAP!!!]]
I was in shocked! Not only did the company admit that they rushed there system, but they also admited that they where to lazy to BUILD IT!!! WHAT KINDA **** IS THAT!? I also forgot to mention that parts came in dis bag! I said **** It and sent the bag full of chips and parts to my friend that knows how to build gaming systems.
3 DAYS LATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got the system back with all da parts in the consoel and crap. NOW LETS PLAY DIS PIECE OF CRAP!!!!!! OH WAIT!!! Got to put in da gamym!!!! Heres da games that came out for dis system:
- Spongebob Super Dance Moves (Requires HD-MI)
- Qwaker Ducks Adventure In The Lake (Requires HD-MI)
Those where the only games realesed for the system. The controler looks just like the SEGA genisis controler. Even the the system it self looks like the Gamecube. The only two games realesed for the system required the HD-MI cabel. The only problem with that is THE HD-MI CABLE DID NOT COME WITH DA SYSTEM!!!!!! YOU HAD TO GO BUY IT OPTINALIY!!!!! WHAT WHERE DAY THINKING!!!!!!!!! Thankfuly, i have the HD-MI cable, so we can now play the games. OH ****!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO HOOK UP THE SYSTEM!!!!
30 MINUTES LATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My gosh that was so hard to hook up. For example, You have to plug in da controler in da back of da TV!!!!!!! HOW DUMB!!!! Anyway, lets play Spongebob and this game is bland. The game is just Dance Dance Revolution with Spongebob characeters. It even comes with a dance pad thing to dance on. Now lets look at that duck game and this one reminds me of Hotle Mario. You're this duck opening doors to see witch path takes you to the goal. THESE GAMES ARE AWFUL AND SO IS DIS SYSTEM!!!!! They should have called it "The Gaming Toilet."
*NOCK* NOCK*
Now who the crap is at da door?
*OPENS DOOR*
HOLY CARP ITS PEDO BEAR WITH UH KNIFE HES GOING TO KEEEEEEELLL MEH!!!!! AFTER HE KEELLD MEH I KEEELLLDD HIM!!!!! ME AND HIS GHOST HAD AN EPIC BATTLE TO DA DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!! WE BOTH DEAD. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A GHOST DIES? THEY DISAPER FOREVEA!!!!!!
THE END!!!!!!!
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a Satanic Show
Originally published: April 15th 2013
[[File:Evilponiez.png|thumb|258px|ITS EVUIL!!!!]]
I was an intern at Hasbro. No not really......sorry about that. Anyways, I was on Youtube trying to find a lost episode, until I saw a user called "Hasbro666". I freaked out, but this is Youtube, there are a lot of fuked upped user names. I clicked on the user's channel and i reloaded the page 6 times, and when I DID, something strange happend. The channel turned into a hellish type channel. I FREAKED OUT!!!! I then went to see the user's uploads and i saw a MLP:FIM episode. I clicked on it, but the weird thing was, that the video was called "My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic Season 0 Episode 666". The video had no likes,dislikes and no VIEWS!!!! I must be the first person to watch this!
The video wouldn't load so I waited 20% seconds. But when it was done loading..........A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND
[[File:THIS IS TEH VIDEO TAT WUS PLAYING|thumb|right|335 px]]
THIS VIDEO WAS PLAYING --------------------------------->
Anyways, SUPRISE THAT WASN'T THE END!!!!!! Okay, now I reloaded the page and the video started to play. It started out with Pinkie Pie (with black eye lids with red glowing dots) watching THAT VIDEO ABOVE THIS TEXT except instead of showing Reggies face......it was showing a bunch of 6's!!!!! Then I thought this was a glitch and I reloaded the page and this time it was showing something different.
It showed Spike (with also black eye lids and red glowing dots) running a way from a hyper realistic demon. While he was running he fell and tripped and fell in this black hole. The black hole took him to Twilight's house. BUT, she had a black void in her face with hyper realistic red glowing eyes and mouth. She wouldn't move and stood stiff as she saw Spike getting his tail chopped off by Applejack (also with black eye lids and glowing red dots)!!!!! Twilight's face was melting hyper realistic gore (and blood).
I was SHOCKED, so I reloaded the video and this time it showed Rarity(again, with a black eye lids and red glowing dots) making a dress with hyper realistic blood on it. Then Fluttershy (with red eye lids and orange glowing dots) and Rainbow Dash(with red eye lids and black glowing dots) came in and coughed (cartoonish) blood on her DRESS!!!!
I FREAKED OUT AND TURNED OFF THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!11 I will never watch My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic ever again.
Jeff Da Killa Makes Uh Utube Account
Originally published: February 25th, 2013
[[File:Higi.png|thumb|352px|Here's Jeff Youtube Banner]]
HEY KIDZ!!!!! (I know thats getting old.) I'M GOING TO TELL YOU HOW I MADE UH UTUBE CHANNEL!!!! IT ALL STARTED 3 DAYS AGO...
HERES IS WHERE DA PASTA GETS BEDA!!!!!
[[File:Jeff_the_killer_YouTube.jpg|thumb|Jeff's profile picture]] I found a story on the internewebz dat said i was a killa!!!!!! I was like WTF? But then i realized i am uh killa!!!! I thought if you hate someone and kill them, diden't mean you where a killa!!!!! I have killed pepole i don't hate so that means I'm a killa!!! Like i said, I found this retarded articel on da creepypasta wiki called Jeff the Killer The articel is full of LIES!!!!! In the the stoopid article, it states that I'm a killa. THERES MOAR THAN DAT1!!!11!!!1 It did not mention that i burn,stab,eat and skin pepole ALIVE!!!! (I don't eat pepole, but still.) I have to tell the trendy pepole on da interwebz what i really do! I'm a n00b when it comes to the internet. Like seriously, What the **** dose "Copy and Paste" mean? Anyway, i searched for some websites that you can tell pepole about your self. I found the following sites:
One of the sites was unique. Youtube is a site where you can upload ANYTHING!!!!! So i went there and made an account. However, it said i had to read DA RULZ....HOW GAY!!!!!!! It said you can't upload any stuff that dosen't belong to you. Thats a big fat lie B-CUZ i see pepole upload stuff that dosn't belong to them ALL DA TIME!!!!!!11 So i didn't read anymore of DA RULZ B-CUZ you can do all of the stuff they say NOT TO DO and not get in any trouble. I came up with user name called JeffyKilla28092. I also had to make a password, heres my password *************. First thing i did was upload a episode of my favorite show called "The Jeff and Da Killas" It got removed for copyright reasons. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 I got off of the computer and grabed my camera to recored something original. I found this guy at the park at 10:00 pm. I grabed my camera and stared recording me killing HIM!!!!!!111 It was a gore fest!!!! I went back home to upload it. I had to take a showa first cuz mah shert was covad in bloood. The video is uploaded now, i can't wait to see how much views it got!
NEXT DAY LATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*YAWN* Man, i can't wait to see how many views the vidya got!!! I fired up the Internet to see how much pepole saw it. IT GOT REMOVED FOR GORE AND SO DID MAH ACCOUNT!!!!!! FFFFUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!
TEH EDN...or IS it?!
Jeff The New Killer
[[File:Jeffdieds.png|thumb|308px]]
Jeff the Killer died because he got shot, and his face exploded. However, some dipshit found Jeff's corpse, and drank his blood. Now this dipshit has turned into a cold blooded killer! JEFF....the NEW KILLER!!!! (By the way, the dipshit's name happens to be be "Jeff".)
Jeff the new killer went into people's houses (in a town called AAAvile) and stabbed them to death. However, he doesn't always kill his victims. A man woke up in the morning, only to find out that his dong (not a typo) was missing! The man was rushed to the hospital, and he died on the way there. Cops are trying to figure out who stole the man's dick. Well, the man has a dog (named Dickered), and cops think that the dog bit the man's dick right off in his sleep. However, reports of dead people were increasing as the days went by... Cops now know that there's a killer on the loose, and they now think that this killer stole that one guy's dick! The cops named the killer... The DONG Snatcher...
Jeff the New Killer (Dong Snatcher) hides in an abandoned hospital, which is kinda... creepy. Anyway, the cops keep dying because Jeff keeps killing them, so the remaining cops hire a detective to kill Jeff the New Killer once and for all! The detective (his name happens to be "Dick", and he hates being called "Richard") found blood-like footprints leading into the abandoned hospital. He walks in, and sees blood all over the walls. He searches a few rooms and finds nothing. After walking around for 45 minutes, Dick decides to sit down in room 6 (because that's the only room he found with a bed in it). As he shat on the bed, an arm from under the blanket starts fingering his asshole. Dick jumps up, and shoots the arm and it FUCKING EXPLODES!!!! Dick pulls off the covers, and finds guts all over the bed.... and a note. The note said "FiNd Me". Dick gets out of the room and heads up to the 3rd floor.
As Dick is walking around the 3rd floor, he hears a noise behind him. He looks, and sees that white-yellow bastard... It's mother fucking JEFF the New Killer!! Jeff (slowly) walks up to Dick with a shit-eating grin. Dick shoots Jeff a bunch of times, but Jeff just keeps on walking showing no signs of damage... Dick said "FUCK YOU!" and shoots Jeff a hjdbehschk bunch of times!!! Jeff falls to the fucking ground (because he's a pussy), and BOILING HOT WATER STARTS TO GO EVERYWHERE (the hot water didn't come from Jeff, in case you were wondering)!!!! Dick quickly grabs a hold of Jeff, and dumps his ugly-ass face into the boiling hot water for 30 seconds. After 30 secs (lol), Dick raised Jeff's head out of the water, and Jeff's face was burned to a crisp... but he was still alive.
Dick says "FUCK... YOU!!!" and punches him in the face a lot of times, and kicks him in the balls. Jeff got kicked in the balls so hard, that he flung out of a window, and landed in the street. Dick ran out of the hospital, jumped in a FUCKING STEAM ROLLER and ran over Jeff's piece of shit body. Jeff... is fucking dead.
...
Dick saved the world and they renamed the town to "Dick" the end or is it?
UPDATE: The guy's missing dick was never found... Theories suggest that Jeff ATE THE DONG!!!
THE REAL END (?)
