A Giant Anus From the 5th Dimension Keeps Entering My Reality and Invaginating Me

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Hello, everybody, my name is David. I've been having a tough time recently as occasionally an anus, a big one, from the 5th dimension keeps entering my reality and invaginating me. As you can imagine, this is undesirable.

It all started about a week ago when I went without sleep for a period of 128 hours.

"Daddy," said my daughter Janey to me, her father, "what's the longest you can stay awake for?"

"I can stay awake indefinitely, Janey. I'm your father. Omnipotent and unwavering. There is nothing I cannot do. Remember that."

"You could stay awake for 128 hours?"

"Of course I could. Easily."

"David," said my wife, Barbara, "You shouldn't be saying such things. It's one thing to joke with Janey, but that wasn't sensible."

"Don't emasculate me in front of our daughter, Barbara. I need to feel secure. I need her to feel secure."

"I'm not emasculating you, David. Good sleep is integral to your health and well-being."

"Oh, and what are you now, a doctor?"

"Yes, David. You know I'm a doctor. I've always been a doctor."

Ignoring my wife's professional opinion I continued to remain conscious and fully lucid for 128 hours. Lo and behold, I suffered no ill effects from the endeavor. In fact I felt better than ever and now no longer sleep at all.

Yet, like I mentioned earlier, the giant anus from the 5th dimension frequently enters my reality and invaginates me. In fact, here he is now.

"Hello, giant anus."

"Hello, Dave." Said the anus as it materialized in front of me in my dining room.

"Please, call me David. I prefer that."

"Hello, Dave." It said again.

The giant anus began to hover upwards in three dimensional space and then maintained its position directly above my head. Slowly the humming began and the anus descended upon me and invaginated me. It's gross. What can I say.

"Hello, Dave." Said the anus again, as it began to compress my body from head to foot in pulsatingly muscular ways.

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Credited to koalazeus 

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