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In my state of ill-thinking, I took both hands off the steering wheel, and pinched everywhere I thought was pinchable. What I didn't notice as I was looking down, eyes off the road, was the office building growing ever closer to me. But all too late, I finally looked up, only to see myself in the glass of the building, an awful look of sheer terror on my face, as my life shattered to pieces.
In my state of ill-thinking, I took both hands off the steering wheel, and pinched everywhere I thought was pinchable. What I didn't notice as I was looking down, eyes off the road, was the office building growing ever closer to me. But all too late, I finally looked up, only to see myself in the glass of the building, an awful look of sheer terror on my face, as my life shattered to pieces.


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A local policeman questioned a woman about the events that had just transpired. "No, officer, I have no idea what caused him to do this. He was driving, and after he turned onto a street, I saw him just swerve back out of it a few minutes later, going maybe 80. He even hit three pedestrians who were crossing to go to McDonalds. Then he started leaning to the right, and just - 'BOOM' - crashed into Walmart!"
A local policeman questioned a woman about the events that had just transpired. "No, officer, I have no idea what caused him to do this. He was driving, and after he turned onto a street, I saw him just swerve back out of it a few minutes later, going maybe 80. He even hit three pedestrians who were crossing to go to McDonalds. Then he started leaning to the right, and just - 'BOOM' - crashed into Walmart!"
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE]]
[[Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE]]
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Old Shit]]
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{{Comments}}

Revision as of 14:21, 16 November 2021

A few days ago, I was driving along the main road that leads in and out of my hometown. It was usually a fairly busy road, but tonight it seemed as if everyone had chosen to turn in early. I was alone, my headlights mindlessly trailing off into the distance.

As I looked on, waiting to turn onto my street, something seemed different. I wasn't the type to remember names of roads, so I kept a mental note that my street was the third left turn after McDonalds, which I frequented. So I made the turn, as per my normal tradition, but nothing looked the same as I knew it to be. I originally chalked it up to my tiredness, but then I realized that I coudn't find my house anymore. Nothing was the same. The homes weren't even in the same style anymore. I lived in a duplex, but the houses now looked Victorian. Alarmed, I turned around, thinking that I had lost track of where I was, and had taken the wrong turn. As I reached the end of the street, I quickly saw that everything had now changed. Panic and fear ran through my entire body. I drove erratically now, swerving into turns, doing 80 in a 50 zone. As I drove, I felt as though I hit a slight bump. I looked behind me, but nothing was on the road. I hit another bump, then another.

I now suspected I was dreaming, so I did the only thing I could think to do to satisfy my inquiry. I pinched myself.

Wrong decision.

In my state of ill-thinking, I took both hands off the steering wheel, and pinched everywhere I thought was pinchable. What I didn't notice as I was looking down, eyes off the road, was the office building growing ever closer to me. But all too late, I finally looked up, only to see myself in the glass of the building, an awful look of sheer terror on my face, as my life shattered to pieces.

A local policeman questioned a woman about the events that had just transpired. "No, officer, I have no idea what caused him to do this. He was driving, and after he turned onto a street, I saw him just swerve back out of it a few minutes later, going maybe 80. He even hit three pedestrians who were crossing to go to McDonalds. Then he started leaning to the right, and just - 'BOOM' - crashed into Walmart!"

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