Dooom 666 curse of BLOOD: Difference between revisions
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[[File:DaBabyE1M1.png|thumb|Screenshot I took of DaBaby in game to show you that this is a true story.]] |
[[File:DaBabyE1M1.png|thumb|Screenshot I took of DaBaby in game to show you that this is a true story.]] |
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Now before the story starts, I just wanted to say that what you're about to read is something that really, definitely, 100% truthfully happened to me. I used to be a mod on a Doom Modding forum. One day I was browsing through the forum, when I found someone had posted an odd file called |
Now before the story starts, I just wanted to say that what you're about to read is something that really, definitely, 100% truthfully happened to me. I used to be a mod on a Doom Modding forum. One day I was browsing through the forum, when I found someone had posted an odd file called "cbt.WAD". There were no screenshots for it, but the name seemed very weird. I googled CBT and found videos of people crushing their balls! Now I had to see what was in this game to make sure it was safe to keep on the website. I downloaded the wad and loaded it up in GZDoom. The title screen said "Dooom 666 curse of BLOOD". I was confused, as Doom was such a happy go lucky series, and would never contain any blood, nor numbers of the beast, let alone anything satanic. Also, how do you misspell a word as simple as Doom? I started up the game and I was put into E1M1. However, something was off. There was an enemy right in front of me. I looked at it and quickly realized that it was singer/songwriter DaBaby. I quickly got scared, but then DaBaby pulled out the pistol from his hip like a cop. He said "less goooooo" before starting to shoot at me. I started to shoot back. After one shot, he was dead. I proceeded to the next door, and I saw something truly horrifying. |
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Doomguy was standing in the middle of the room, and an Imp was sucking on his penis. I screamed at the top of my lungs and my neighbor told me to |
Doomguy was standing in the middle of the room, and an Imp was sucking on his penis. I screamed at the top of my lungs and my neighbor told me to "Shut the fuck up" because it was 3 AM. I couldn't believe what I saw with my two eyes. I grabbed my monitor and slammed it into the ground, causing glass to shatter everywhere. I rang a bell by my door and waited for my butler to arrive. When he did I asked him to get me another monitor. "Why of course, sir.", my butler replied. After he had brought in my new $1,000 computer monitor, I reclined back in my $400 PewDiePie gaming chair and said to myself "What kind of person would make a mod like that?". I signed back into my computer and was greeted with the title screen once again. The typo was still there. I started a new game, as my last one hadn't been saved. However, when I got loaded into the game, it crashed unexpectedly, sending me back to my desktop. I was confused at first, but then relieved that I didn't have to play that nightmare of a game anymore. I went to bed that night, but while I was asleep I had a horrible nightmare. |
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[[File:Doomsucc.png|thumb|Doomguy getting his ding dong sucked by an Imp!]] |
[[File:Doomsucc.png|thumb|Doomguy getting his ding dong sucked by an Imp!]] |
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I was in the E1M1 map from the hit video game Doom. I thought this was cool at first, but then I looked down. I saw an Imp sucking on my ding dong! I screamed and pushed the Imp away, running down the hallway and through different high tech doors. I was about to open the exit doors, when all of a sudden, I felt a hand on the back of my shoulder. I turned around and saw John Carmack. He said |
I was in the E1M1 map from the hit video game Doom. I thought this was cool at first, but then I looked down. I saw an Imp sucking on my ding dong! I screamed and pushed the Imp away, running down the hallway and through different high tech doors. I was about to open the exit doors, when all of a sudden, I felt a hand on the back of my shoulder. I turned around and saw John Carmack. He said "This game old. Buy Oculus Rift now." "But didn't you make this game?," I asked him. He pulled out a BFG. "Did I stutter?," He asked me. I then woke up in a cold sweat. Realizing what I had to do, I got my 300 pound body out of my bed and went back onto my computer, logging into Amazon and buying an Oculus Rift. After waiting for a dreadful 2 days, I finally received the package in the mail. Ripping open the box, I took out the headset, then plugged it into my computer and turned it on. When the headset came on it was like I was really there. However, I realized in true shock there was only one game I could play, and it was "Dooom 666 curse of BLOOD"! |
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I tried to take off my headset but it |
I tried to take off my headset but it wouldn't budge. I had to beat this game to get out. I started a new game, yet I was somewhere completely different. It looked like I was in Hell, but not normal Hell. It was...pixelated Hell! I walked through the entrance gate and entered a dark room. Suddenly, lights turned on, and I saw John Romero. John Romero looked at me and said "Are you here to defeat me, challenger? I am the immortal John-" I cut him off by shooting him in the face with my Super Shotgun. I heard a victory fanfare play and I said "wait a minute, that's it?". A letter fell down from a hole in the ceiling. I took the letter and it read as follows. |
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"Dear challenger, |
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Thank you for defeating John Romero, the Icon of Sin himself. |
Thank you for defeating John Romero, the Icon of Sin himself. I've been trying for years to destroy him, but he's too powerful. I am extremely amazed by your nobility to this challenge, as well as your perseverance. As a reward for your bravery, I'm giving you the Steam Key for the hit video game Quake 3, which I bought off of a shady website for $5, and yet now my bank account has been overdrafted. |
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Sincerely, |
Sincerely, |
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John Carmack. |
John Carmack." |
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I sighed in relief as I reached to pull off the VR headset, and it slid right off. Flopping back onto my bed, I took a moment to relax and think about what I had been through. I smelled my shirt and realized that I needed to change, so I went to open my closet door, and then A SKELETON POPPED OUT. |
I sighed in relief as I reached to pull off the VR headset, and it slid right off. Flopping back onto my bed, I took a moment to relax and think about what I had been through. I smelled my shirt and realized that I needed to change, so I went to open my closet door, and then A SKELETON POPPED OUT. |
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