Five Dank Nights at the Museum: Night 5
Being a spooky skeleton is not easy. Everyone gets super scared of me and they throw things at me and call me names but it's okay because nothing gets under my skin hahaha okay. Time to be serious.
I was really lonely and went to the local whorehouse. I asked for the pretiest lady and when I met her I could see she was very pretty. I looked into her eyes and it was love at first sight. We got married that year and bought a house from that money we stole from those dead elves and had three kids, Snap, Crackle, and Schmiz.
We lived a happy life and I didn't spook anyone. Then one day I came home to my wife and she said "Honey today's our anniversary."
I looked at her and smiled, but when I looked into her eyes, I saw something odd. I couldn't see her eyes! I took a step back and saw that my wife was actually Spooderman! Then I looked at our darling kids. They were also Spooderman!
"Ayyyy" said Spooderman. "Yu cougght meh. Haev an wesh."
I wished to go back to the museum, kissed my wiefy and kids bye and left.
I woke up back in my human body in the museum. But I wasn't in the museum. I was on top of the Empire State Building with Jeeves.
"We're so sorry skeletons were so misunderstood" said Jeeves.
"Rlly?"
"Nuuuo!" chattered Jeeves through his spooky skeleton teeth. "Once I destroy you in this game of basketball nothing will stop me from spooking this wurld to death"
I dribbled and did one of those bank swishes and scored. Jeeves got jelly of my mad b-ball skillz so he pulled out his trumpet and did a 'DOOT DOOT' behind me and spooked me off the skyscraper!
Jk, I didn't fall. But I did break both of my legs tho. Jeeves had the ball and was about to make that 3 point goal. Suddenly, Ben Stiller the night guard fell out of the sky and lifted me up onto his shoulders.
"Thank Ben stiller the night guard u saved me!"
"No problem, now let's touchdown" said Ben stiller teh night guard
We ran to the other end of the court and stole that ball from Jeeves. Ben stiller the night guard and I dribbled as hard as we could, but Jeeves threw his trumpet at us and it turned into a spooky owl and hit Ben stiller the night guard!
"HOOT!"
As he fell at half court I was launched into the air. Spinning wildly out of control with the basketball in my hands I knew I couldn't make the shot! Suddenly a glass of milk fell out of the ball into my mouth and I got strong bones and calcium! I flew towards the basket and threw it in with the dankest of all dank shots.
360 NO SPOOK!!!
I made the basket and the spooky scary moon flew down and killed Jeeves for gud!
The lesson learned is that everyone has a spooky skeleton inside of them, but you gotta be in control of that skelington or else you might get... boned
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Credited to thedefconn
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