Five Dank Nights at the Museum: Night 4
"Burn the witch!" the townspeople cried as they hauled me in chains toward a pyre.
"No pls" I said. "I have fish to feed at home and have to save the world from skeletons!"
"Don't listen to him, he fell from the sky, it's magic I tell you!" yelled one insisting person. His name was Greg and he was the mayor of the castle.
Suddenly, Greg had a heart failure and went into cardiac arrest. Then he got arrested for being a soviet era spy. But when the medieval cops showed up and handcuffed Greg, his hands slipped right through them because he was a spooky ghost!
The cops died from over-spookage and everyone screamed. Suddenly I had a flashback about an old movie called Ghostbusters and how they caught spooks like this one. When I thought about how they stopped them I remembered them saying not to cross the streams. So I didn't. Then the ghost disappeared.
"You did it!" cried the townspeople! "You are our new mayor and King and we will throw a party in your honor!"
I smiled at this, but then everyone looked at me and began to scream and shout.
"Look! He has teeth!"
"BONES!"
"He's a skeleton!"
"So spooky!"
"Darn, they know my secret" I thought to myself as they carried me to the pyre and lit me up like a great medieval blunt.
As I was burning I shed a single tear which landed on my trombone. I picked it up and looked at an inscription that I must have missed. Written in the handwriting of President Roosevelt, it said "Don't doubt the fire."
The flames engulfed me and when the smoke settled, the townspeople looked on in horror I stood before them as a skeleton, spooky in body but not in mind.
"He is one of them!" the crowd cried! "Burn the spooky skeleton again!"
"Wait" I said. "Can't you all see we are all just skeletons on the inside? I pulled a mirror out of my other pocket and held it in front of them.
"We also have teeth!" the townspeople cried out in terror! "We all are skeletons!" They all killed themselves and became spooky ghosts and didn't live happily ever after.
Credited to thedefconn
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