Glitter and the Ghostly Gadget: Difference between revisions
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Thermometer (talk | contribs) (Created page with "Life at the "Silicon Valley", the ironically named strip joint I moonlighted at, (level 5 Janitor) was a bizarre blend of glitter, dollar bills, and lost dignity. And then, one fateful night, I found a USB drive that added a new ingredient: lunacy. The USB, worn and sporting a logo that looked like a red laughing devil, lay forgotten under the sticky bar counter. Naturally, being a connoisseur of chaos, (that's what my mom calls me) I decided to plug it into my laptop w...") |
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The USB, worn and sporting a logo that looked like a red laughing devil, lay forgotten under the sticky bar counter. Naturally, being a connoisseur of chaos, (that's what my mom calls me) I decided to plug it into my laptop when I got home. |
The USB, worn and sporting a logo that looked like a red laughing devil, lay forgotten under the sticky bar counter. Naturally, being a connoisseur of chaos, (that's what my mom calls me) I decided to plug it into my laptop when I got home. |
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The only file on it was labeled "ShakeWhatYaMamaGaveYou.txt". It contained binary code which, upon translation, said: |
The only file on it was labeled "ShakeWhatYaMamaGaveYou.txt". It contained binary code which, upon translation, said: "24 hours. Pass it on. Shake it, don't break it." |
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Of course, at that very moment, my laptop went dark and the USB got stuck like a stubborn piece of glitter on a sweaty dancer's, uh, arm. But I wasn't about to let a rebellious USB put a damper on my evening. I had a date with some pizza roles in the freezer. |
Of course, at that very moment, my laptop went dark and the USB got stuck like a stubborn piece of glitter on a sweaty dancer's, uh, arm. But I wasn't about to let a rebellious USB put a damper on my evening. I had a date with some pizza roles in the freezer. |
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That night, I dreamt of spectral figures gyrating on poles and a ghostly DJ chanting a countdown. I woke up feeling like |
That night, I dreamt of spectral figures gyrating on poles and a ghostly DJ chanting a countdown. I woke up feeling like I'd gone ten rounds with a mechanical bull. My laptop was still dead and the USB remained stubbornly stuck. |
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Over the next days, every electronic I touched started malfunctioning like a drunk customer on dollar-draft night. My microwave, my electric toothbrush, even my precious transformers collection - everything went haywire! |
Over the next days, every electronic I touched started malfunctioning like a drunk customer on dollar-draft night. My microwave, my electric toothbrush, even my precious transformers collection - everything went haywire! |
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Now, I'm writing this on the trusty old typewriter in the |
Now, I'm writing this on the trusty old typewriter in the club's office to later be faxed and uploaded to reddit for precious internet points. |
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So here's my advice: If you ever see a sketchy USB at your workplace, |
So here's my advice: If you ever see a sketchy USB at your workplace, don't plug it in. Especially if your workplace involves disco balls and dance poles. |
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And to the lucky person who finds the USB that I've casually tossed on a city bus...you've been warned. Keep it far, far away from your transformers collection. Or else... |
And to the lucky person who finds the USB that I've casually tossed on a city bus...you've been warned. Keep it far, far away from your transformers collection. Or else... |