I bought a Nintendo 64 and a copy of Super Mario 64 and I found out it was personalized...
So if you've been on the internet for the past month, you would've seen a new trend that's been going around based on the classic Nintendo 64 game, Super Mario 64. This trend would come to be known as 'Every copy of Super Mario 64 is personalized', also known as 'The Wario Apparition'. While people would come to the realisation that maybe their copy of the game was personalized, I laughed at those baboons. That was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard! Nintendo purposely modifying each copy of the game with different things happening to create a personalized experience for the player? No way! It's a waste of time and money and time AND money business-wise (I learnt business through Wikipedia).
Admittedly, I sort of have my biases towards Nintendo as growing up in the 90s, I had a Sony Playstation as the Nintendo 64 looked like a toy, three prongs for the controller? Cartridges? Pokemon? What were they smoking back then? I'm in my early 40s now and since I've got nothing better to do at the moment with everything going on in the world, I thought perhaps, I should test this dumb trend out for myself. So as opposed to diving into the rabbit hole that was emulation and having to scour the internet for ROMs which could get the feds onto me, I decided to instead waste even more of my time on eBay to find a working Nintendo 64 console with a copy of Super Mario 64.
After merely minutes of my time wasted into finding a good deal, I finally found one that I was satisfied with and within my area. It was an original grey Nintendo 64 with a copy of Super Mario 64 bundled with the system, what made it great (but also strange) was the price of the whole thing. As opposed to paying upwards of about $200 for the system + an extra 80 or so dollars for a game, it was $69 for both the system and the game. I paid it no mind and proceeded to purchase the bundle with express delivery and was expected to arrive within a day. 2 weeks pass and one day, the doorbell rings (So much for express delivery). I open the door to see the FedEx guy screaming in fear as he ran back into the FedEx truck with it speeding off in a flash. The fuck was up with that guy?
I look down to see the box laying on my doorstep and proceeded to take it inside. Upon taking the package inside, I notice something. I notice a piece of paper taped to the side of the box, it was a folded-up note. I proceeded to remove the note from the box and opened it up, I was beyond confused as to why a note would be attached to the box but proceeded to read it anyways. It was a handwritten note with a series of phrases written in all capitals.
MARIO IS REAL, L IS REAL, WARIO IS REAL, HE'LL COME FOR YOU MAN, FUCK, SHIT, NINTENDO KNOWS ALL, THIS IS WHACK, IT'S TRUE, ALL OF IT, MARIO 64 IS PERSONALIZED! FUN ISN'T FUN, DON'T CAVE INTO FUN, FUN != FUN, I WASN'T TOAD, HE WAS TOAD! TOAD IS REAL, NINTENDO IS REAL!
This was repeated and covered the entire page. It was probably some dumbass trying to scare me with this dumb trend. If that was the case, why would he sell me this? I just threw the note in the bin. I opened the box to see what I had purchased, an original Nintendo 64 with the game, it had everything I needed. Upon taking it all out of the box, I noticed how remarkably clean and brand new everything looked, it seemed like this person really cared about their Nintendo 64 and ensured it was clean inside and out. Aside from that dumb note, I was really happy with the new console I got, but now I had to make sure everything worked correctly.
I went down to my basement where I had my old CRT television and proceeded to set up the system next to my original Playstation as well as my collection of other gaming consoles of years past. After the console was set up, I proceeded to insert the cartridge into the Nintendo 64's game cartridge slot located at the top of the console. I turned the console on and sure enough, it worked. I sighed in relief as after a long two weeks of waiting, it was all working perfectly! The title appeared on screen as Mario exclaimed "It's a-me Mario!" With Mario's head then bursting onto the screen with the familiar title-screen music.
I created a new save and began to play the game for what seemed like hours, everything seemed fine. Everything was as I remembered when I played the game at my friend's house back in 96'. For the fun of it, I decided to setup my laptop and an adapter I got online that allowed me to record my gameplay from the CRT TV and console to my computer. I thought that I could use this to film gameplay videos to upload to YouTube or something.
But after what happened next, I started to have second thoughts...
I unlocked a room which revealed a hallway with a painting of Princess Peach on the wall, as I walked closer to the painting, the painting slowly faded to a picture of Bowser in which I then fell down. As I fell, the game suddenly glitched. The screen was black and silent, I started to become unsettled by what was happening. It stayed this way for about 5 seconds when Wario's god-forsaken face bursted out of the black void as his laugh reverberated, nearly at full-volume in which I could've sworn I had my speakers turned down. Why was Wario in this game?!? He then began speaking to me, which made me sweat profusely, my hands were trembling which I NEVER DID!
"You fat-a ass! Get yourself a job and find someone to-a love! WHAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!" His head moved back into the void as he faded away and disappeared.
At this point, I didn't know if I should be angry, sad, or scared? He was TALKING to me, rudely making fun of me at that. He slandered my weight and questioned my life choices! Sure, maybe I could use a job and someone to love but GODDAMN IT, THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS DONATE MY NON-EXISTENT EARNINGS TO HOT TWITCH STREAMERS!
Anyways, that's besides the point.
The game cut back as I saw Mario back in the grassy fields outside of Peach's castle, did I just lose my progress in the game? Thankfully that wasn't the case. As I entered back into the castle and proceeded to get back to the level I was supposed to go. But when I approached the painting this time, instead of Bowser's face appearing, Wario's face appeared but was poorly being overlayed on top of my head. It floated over my head where the painting was, I was in shock when I saw Wario's 3D head float out of the painting. He stared down at me, and uttered:
"You want fun? Wario show you fun."
I began to run as his head started floating towards the screen at full speed, covering it as he screamed;
"OH MY GOOOOD!"
Wario screamed as a hyper-realistic car appeared on-screen, a car of this fidelity shouldn't have been seen on ANY Nintendo 64 game if AT ALL in Super Mario 64. The car then crashed into a police car and knocked Wario out of frame as a loud explosion suddenly went off, nearly damaging my TV's speakers and covering my entire screen, hyper-realistic like the cars.
I saw white text flash on-screen for a split second before the game and console shut off... Smoke began billowing out of the cartridge slot. Frightened, I proceeded to pull out the cartridge out of sheer panic. I then heard my fire alarm go off in the kitchen, I rushed upstairs to find that my kitchen was engulfed in flames, with the fire emerging from the bin. I pulled out the nearby fire extinguisher to put out the fire in my kitchen, yet the fire in the bin wasn't going out. The very note that I threw into the bin had started the fire and wasn't disintegrating. With myself now holding the burning paper with metal tongs, I threw the piece of paper into my pool in the hopes it would go out, but to no avail. As time went on however, the fire was eventually extinguished. I went back down to the basement to see if the recording software was still recording the console, which it was and I proceeded to stop the recording.
When I opened up the video file, the recording was mostly corrupted with only a few bits and pieces being viewable, but I got the only piece of evidence proving this all occurred. My house, more or so my kitchen was damaged as a result of the fire, but luckily I was able to extinguish everything before the fire had gotten out of control. The N64 and the cartridge was now ruined and I can't turn on the game nor the console. I never thought this was real, but now I WANT MY STORY to be spread far and wide. I was so wrong with all of this, I initially didn't believe this was real, but now that I've seen it first-hand, I think twice on these kinds of things.
If you're brave enough to watch the remaining footage I got, proving that this trend isn't a joke. Look up 'E v e R y C o P Y o F M a R i O 6 4 i S p E r S o N a L i Z e D'
And you can see for yourself the horror I had to endure...
Credited to hawkeren
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