It never comes off...

That poo that sometimes occurs - having the consistency of peanut butter. The first wipe doesn’t help - it actually seems to make it worse; spreading it around rather than absorbing it. Second swipe/wipe is simply a retelling of the first one, except now your frustration is building - so much so that your finger pokes through the toilet tissue and now not only did you almost finger-bang yourself, you’ve managed to get the better part of your finger coated with the vile stuff. It’s just a downward spiral from here: toilet tissue and poo stuck everywhere - you sobbing into your necktie to muffle the sound - your boss wonder where you’d gone off to... and still, STILL your bum remains unclean.

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Credited to MarcOxenstierna 

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