Moose Crossing
Hello, officers. I've left thousands of copies of this note littered across the road for you to read. Where to begin, hmm? Oh, I know! I'll start with this:
I had never tasted exotic meats, until that day. I was driving to my family's home for the holiday, when I discovered that the main roads were blocked off. I had to take a detour through the forest, I saw a sign which said “Moose Crossing”. “Filthy animals!” I muttered to myself, angry that I'd be late. It was dark by the time I was even close to my family's house. It was too late to stop when I saw that moose in the middle of the road, creating a grim shadow in my headlights.
I stopped the car the moment I hit the moose, I checked it for bloodflow, breathing, pulse, everything! There was none. I realized that I'd probably be facing charges for hitting the moose, so I stuffed it in my trunk. When I had to stop for gas, I carved up the moose and threw it's skin in a ditch. I brought the meat home claiming that it was Angus beef. Although my family noted that it “Tasted a little weird... kind of like deer” they loved it.
Today I'm bringing home a new meat. I hit a pedestrian by accident.
They'll love my new pork roast.
—
Those notes were found littered around the streets, near locations where pedestrians were reported to be involved in hit and run accidents linked to the serial killer known as “Moose-Juice”. Strangely, no bodies or injured pedestrians have been found.
Credited to AlixeTiir
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