The Manila Envelope: Difference between revisions
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I was 15 and at home smoking pot and listening to whatever shit they listened to in the 1800's - probably My Chemical Romance or some shit, and my mother came down to ask me to take out the trash. I flipped her off and said "No mom I'm a grown boy now so go away and let me grow this sick neckbeard out to fit my dapper fedora", she was proud, and was all like "Dayummmmm son you a playa" and walked out of the room. Hearing those words made me feel euphoric so I decided to get off my fat ass and see if I could finally fit through the front door...
I couldn't, so I opened the door and asked my mom to drag my couch to the door so that I could wait for the mailman. She did and I sat down,
So yeah enough about my swagnessity, I took a manila envelope at random and it said "CONFIDENTIAL" in dark red letters and underneath it said "KONAMI x US GOVERNMENT SECRET AGENDA PLANS" I found that weird, because Konami was my favourite game company, so I opened it and there was a game box which was black and dark red and said "EVEN MORE SILENT HILLS" and I was scared. My heart was pumping rapidly due to high blood pressure and clogged arteries and a bit of fear I guess, and then when I opened it and there was a note that said "LOOK IN YOUR PS4" and I was scared. How did they know I had a ps4? That question scared me the most, so I waddled to my tv and called my mom to push the sofa back quick because I could already feel myself blacking out from over-exerting myself walking. The sofa moved and I sat on it entirely, consuming the armrests with my muscles and kicked the playstation into life with my foot and 420 noscoped the disc into the open tray.
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