The Composure

Every single thing has been bugging me a lot earlier.

I couldn't remember when it started. This cannot be a curse nor a nightmare. I know I am wide awake and am fully functioning as an ordinary human being forced to live in this filthy rock called "earth". I just cannot comprehend what has been happening to me and I began to fear literally everything I sense. What the fuck has been happening to me...?

Am I crazy, I ask? I do not know. The composure I have sought for almost a lifetime seems to be nothing but mere fantasy by now. Every day is a curse for me. Even waking up for the morning seems to set me off. What is happening to me...? I can't go on like this. I have been fearing my very own existence. I cannot go to a therapist knowing I have been suffering this fucking curse of fearing EVERYTHING.

I tried to ask help from Jerry. Have you ever got that one friend that you know you can always rely with anything? Jerry's that one friend.I ecided to call Jerry for help but what if he will trick me? He's been a mischievous person ever since we became friends and he might just accidentally kill me if so.

I shrugged it off and just proceeded to call Jerry boy. Unfortunately, their line cannot be contacted. Huh, weird. Our signals hadn't been cut off as long as I can remember. Maybe the telephone wasn't plugged in whatsoever.

Until I heard the news. There was a fire engulfing 5 houses on the street where Jerry lives. One of the 5 houses was Jerry's house.

Why am I being apathetic? Why am I laughing? Why am I laughing loud? Why am I laughing at my only friend's demise? Why am I being like this? Why am I even existing? Why?

Until then, I had no solace. I had nothing. I had been living alone for 10 years and I cannot ask help for anyone. I cannot find my sanity anymore. Why am I being like this? God, if you're there I need you now. Show me your face just this time. Heal me just this time. Bring me solace. I pray to thee.

I logged in to Facebook out of boredom and a skeleton popped out.

Like, share and comment for Jesus. Ignore for worms, rotten nails, black fat hoe and Satan.

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