Oh No! More Jeff Spinoffs

The fifth part of the "Jeff Spinoffs" saga. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

As before, here are the rules: No Jane stuff. No Jeff vs./meets (trollpasta character here). No "gay" jokes. No all-caps entries. Nothing that's been used in previous installments. And above all, make them funny!

 

Jeff Plays Baseball

Jeff Steals Fizzy Lifting Drinks

Jeff vs. Grapefruit (it always squirts in his eye when he tries to eat it)

Jeff The Killer

Jeff Rides A Pterosaur

Jeff's Laser Eyes!!!

Jeff Gets Peelz

Jeff Was The Walrus

Jeff Goes To Party City

Jeff Gets His Own Leitmotif

Jeff Swallows His Chewing Gum

3 Jeff Moon

Jeff Is Tirstee! You Got Anything To Drinkee?

Jeff Sumberges Himself In Butterscotch Pudding

Jeff Steals The Crown Jewels

Jeff faces death by BOONGA-BOONGA!!!

Jeff Finds The One Light On The Christmas Tree That Makes All The Others Go Out

Jeff Shovels His Walk

Jeff Gets Buried In Snow

Jeff Eats Sweet & Sour Shrimp

Jeff Smokes Pot With Jesus And Vinshu

Jeff's Second Childhood

Jeff Is Sprayed By A Skunk

Jeff Bangs His Belly Like A Drum

Jeff Wins A Year's Supply Of Potato Chips

Jeff Grows To The Size Of The Chrysler Building

Jeff Tries To Attract A Mate

Jeff Pupates

Jeff The Killer Screams Like A Little Girl

Jeff Tries To Find Out How Many Licks It Takes To Get To The Tootise Roll Center Of A Tootsie Pop

Jeff is Stuck On Band Aid Brand, Cuz Germs Don't Stick On Him

Jeff Is Frozen In Carbonite

Jeff vs. Leprechauns

Jeff Drags His Lacerated Body To The Hospital After Accusing Heron Of Being Gay

Jeff Bellydances

Jeff Trains A Magikarp

Jeff Cuts His Tongue and Eats A Potato Chip

Jeff Absorbs Twice His Weight In Acid

Jef Gets Freeze-Dried

Jeff On Stilts

Jeff Dresses As Slenderman For Halloween and Slendy Dresses As Jeff

Jeff The Human Cannonball

Jeff Opens A Store in Miami Dedicated To Knock-off Disney Products

Jeff's Orgy

Jeff Got Fingered

Jeff Grows Tentacles

Jeff Tentacles Rapes Sadako

Jeff Tentacle Rapes...himself?!

Jeff falls off the ledge of a building and bounces off the pavement like a superball

Jeff Moves To Iran

Jeff Rips Smildeog's Fur Off And Wears It As A Bandana

Jeff Becomes A Devotee Of Charles Manson

Jeff Meditates To R. Kelly Pissing On Someone

Jeff gets NOTHING

Jeff Finds Something More Screwed Up Than Him

Jeff Realizes He Has Testicles

Jeff's dick EXPLODES!!!

Jeff Paints His Fingernails

Jeff Gets Infected By The Flood

Jeff wants you to eat his dust and lick his crack.

Jeff Plants A Bomb In Times Square, But It Somehow Winds Up In His Escape Vehicle Instead

Jeff Gets Killed And Is Reincarnated As A Dung Beetle

Jeff Slips On A Banana Peel

Jeff Seduces Your Grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Jeff The Killer.