2023
January: SpongeBob SquarePants: Rage and Depression
Voted the worst of the FotM winners of 2022.
2022
December: On one bloody christmas eve
"I ran upstairs scared to death grabed the gun it was a snub nose i held 6 shots i fired all 6 in him he enjoyed it almost like he loved it he pounced on me and went to slash with his thorned mangled hand and i ran downstsairs and the wham my leg snapped i seen the clock it read 6:66pm then i accepted death and let him deliver the final blow this"
So poorly written it's almost endearing. The series of events make no sense and by the end you are sure to be confused. Despite how broken it is, it's incredibly entertaining.
November: Xelex
"He then said, 'Even Zalgo fears me.' And that was it. Zalgo was one of Lovecraft's creatures he wrote about. I could never imagine anything more powerful than Zalgo, from what I have heard about him. I didn't even think Zalgo existed. I couldn't believe my ears when Xelex said that."
Our protagonist mistakenly summons Xelex, an ancient being that's slaughtered millions of people. The police have a shootout with the creature that goes horribly wrong, where he reveals that even Zalgo fears him. The protagonist is seemingly more shocked at this tidbit rather than the ancient creature firing blue energy beams at a police squad. The main character retreats to their house, which Xelex engulfs in darkness, so the protagonist sets the wall on fire. Xelex thinks this is brave or something so he spares the protagonist from his wrath, the only person he's ever spared. Xelex then disappears after threatening to come back in the future. All-in-all it's terrible, yet amusing.
October: Homicidal Liu
"'I knelt down and remove a ring from my bag" Will you marry me? 'He moved, and with tears in her eyes said' If Liu, I want to marry you. 'We left the restaurant, I had not been so happy in my life, but a damn came with a gun and shot him."
Right out of the gate you can tell something is horribly wrong with this story. The prose is borderline unreadable, rapidly switching from first-person to third-person in the same sentence, which is confusing to say the least. This is due to the story being a victim of Google Translate, as it was originally written in Spanish. The massacre of the English language aside, the story itself is terrible. Right after Liu proposes to his girlfriend Susan, she is shot dead by a random criminal. She ends up dying in the hospital, which sends Liu into a murderous rampage, killing everyone in the hospital, including bed-ridden patients. Liu faces no challenges killing anyone he wants, and since the story is from his point of view, it makes him incredibly overpowered and dull. A must-read garbage creepypasta of the slasher variety.
September: How I Met a Terrible Fate
"113 Stars. 113 instead of 103. 113 seconds of falling. 1.1, with 3 cheat codes cracked. 113 eggs to to be painted with gorilla blood. Somehow, the number 113 showed up in the games when played on the Ninterror 64. I looked at the phone number. 100-116-3527. 113. I also examined the 1 that almost always appears as the first number of a phone number. Suddenly , I remembered an easter egg put in every Pixar movie: A113. This stood for a CalTech classroom where Tim Burton and John Lassetter attended classes. The first letter of the alphabet is A. 1113=A113. Wow."
The protagonist discovers the Nintendo 64 "Ninterror 64" he bought for $2 plays glitched and gruesome versions of his N64 games. He marathons about a dozen of the games to see all the horrifying new side-effects, such as sudden violence, cryptic language, and lots of explosions for... some reason. As expected with bad creepypasta of this caliber, many instances of the infamous stopwatch cliché appear throughout. And as if the story weren't bad enough, the protagonist discovers the N64 is likely haunted by the antique shop owner's dead son who loved creepypasta. Yeah, there's nothing else to say.
August: Murderpuff
"I saw my friend in a pink Jigglypuff sweater. I gave a little giggle until I broke into laughter. But I stopped right when I saw it. A knife. His pocket knife. He swore only to use as a whittling knife."
A friend's infatuation with Jigglypuff turns him into a murderous weirdo for... some reason. There's not much of a story, but what is there is bizarre. The knife fight the main character has with the friend is especially comical. A short but quintessential fail.
July: MaRIo
"To this day, I cannot play Super Mario Bros... And the other morning, I woke up to see 'MaRIo' carved into my arm."
Much like every other bad video game creepypasta, it relies heavily on gruesome imagery within the game as a crutch. Predictably, it ends with the protagonist proclaiming he'll never play the series ever again. There's a funny scene where the game cartridge contains a note inside by the dad that says "you're next." That tells you all you need to know about this story.
June: Enderman.mov
"I reluctantly clicked it, and the video started. What we saw horrified us. It was us, as characters in Minecraft, along with all of our family."
A story that implies the protagonist's friend is killed by an Enderman. In real life. That and the fact it portrays gorey Minecraft videos as genuinely terrifying makes it no surprise it won the poll. It's a doozy.
May: A Close Encounter with the Tails Doll
"The Tails Doll was furiously slashing at the door, a piece of the door flew out of the window and the Doll's dark eyes were glaring at me."
Unlike most video game pastas, this one involves a character from the game wreaking havoc in the real world. The story becomes more absurd as it progresses, including a scene where the Tails Doll wields a chainsaw against the protagonist. The outlandish material and horrid writing makes it a laughable fail in every way.
April: SpongeBob SquarePants: Rage and Depression
"I couldn't call Stephen Hillenburg because he died, so I decided to call Paul Tibbit. He told me that some SpongeBob hater nearby Nickelodeon Studios must've hijacked the place and created it."
A ridiculous and melodramatic story about SpongeBob going into a deep depression after Patrick dies in a plane crash. The poor writing, odd moments, and terrible dialogue are sure to get a laugh out of anyone.
March: Sonic.exe
Perhaps the most infamous video game creepypasta, it's no surprise Sonic.exe won the poll in a landslide. It's a tedious and poorly written slog that relies on clichés and pointless violence for horror. The author's meltdown in response to the story's deletion from Creepypasta Wiki has also gained infamy. In recent years the character of Sonic.exe has managed to stay popular and overshadow the story itself."Sonic is the very embodiment of evil, he tortures people who play his game in more ways than one and then when he gets bored he drags you into the game, literally drags you to Hell, where he can play with you always, as his toy...."
