Even More Jeff The Killer Spinoffs That Will Never Happen

NSFW WARNING This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations. ...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

The fourth part of "Jeff Spinoffs" saga. Don't forget to check out the previous three installations! And the sequels!

Jeff Drinks Ink  

Jeff Drinks Coke and Eats Mentos  

Jeff Drinks All The Tea In China  

Jeff Loses The Game  

Jeff vs. Hurricane Sandy  

Jeff Plays Golf  

Jeff Ties A Maiden To The Railroad Tracks

Hungry Hungry Jeff  

Jeff Inserts An Entire Marching Band Into His Ass  

Jeff Steals The Klopmann Diamond  

Jeff Plays Action 52  

Jeff Gets The Munchies  

Jeff Has An Existential Crisis  

Jeff Converts To Rastafarianism  

Jeff Catches Thumbtacks On His Eyes  

Jeff Gets A Pedicure  

Jeff Gets Drafted Into The Military  

Jeff Listens to Ziggy Stardust  

Jeff Becomes A Cowboy and Joins the Circus  

Jeff Goes To A Blood Drive  

Jeff learns Kung Fu  

Jeff Tries To Get His Drivers'License  

Jeff's Hot Flash  

Jeff vs. Ringworm  

Jeff vs. The Red Ring of Death  

Jeff vs. The Blue Screen of Death  

Jeff Takes Knockout Drops  

Jeff Bites His Nails  

Robojeff. Half man. Half machine. All serial killer.  

Jeff's Salt Lick  

Jeff Suffers A Panic Attack  

Jeff the Killer IN SPACE II: Electric Boogaloo  

Jeff Gets His Teeth Knocked Out  

Jeff Gets Gingivitis  

Jeff Gets Shot In The Kneecaps  

Jeff's Hand Gets Chopped Off And Replaced With A Hook

Jeff's Dick Gets Chopped Off And Replaced With A Hook

Jeff Becomes One Big Hook  

Jeff Loses His Favorite Knife  

Jeff Catches Smiledog's Fleas  

Jeff Gets Dragged Away By Wild Horses  

Jeff's Fancy New Boots  

Jeff Sits Around Watching TV All Day  

Jeff Goes To Qahog  

Jeff Becomes A Stand-Up Comedian  

Jeff Becomes A Ganguro (look it up)  

Jeff Re-Enacts Goatse  

Jeff Balances A Car On His Head  

Jeff Burns Chick Tracts  

Jeff hits BEN with giant Fists Of Graft (tm)  

Jeff's Beer Belly (or should I say, blood belly)  

Jeff's Daiperfur Fetish  

Jeff Spontenaously Floats Away  

Jeff Watches Helplessley As BEN Degenerates Into A Mess Of Garbled Polygons  

Jeff Forgets To Pay His Cable Bill  

Jeff The Killer Freezes Into A Jeff-Sicle  

Jeff Legally Changes His Name To Maximillian Danger  

Jeff Stuffs Grapes Up His Nostrils  

Jeff Gets A Pompadour  

Curse Of The Were-Jeff. Phase one: your skin turns white. Phase two: your eyelids dissapear. Phase three: you have an incredible urge to wear a white hoodie. Phase Four: your hair turns long, greasy and black. And the final phase: a long, smile-shaped scar appears on your mouth!

Jeff Humps Slenderman's Leg  

Jeff Gets Plastic Surgery  

Jeff Houses A Family Of Voles In His Hair  

Jeff At The Sauna  

Jeff Gets Shipwrecked  

Jeff vs. Rule 34  

Jeff Falls Down The Stairs  

Jeff Founds A Wiki  

Jeff Finds Out Smile Dog is a Transvestite Midget in a Costume  

Jeff Eats Moldy Bread  

Jeff Kills Dumbledore  

Jeff Goes Back In Time And Kills The Dinosaurs, Gets Zapped Dead By The Time Police  

Jeff Has Sex With a Pencil.  

Jeff vs The 12 Steps  

Jeff vs Scientology  

Jeff Makes Deviled Eggs  

Jeff Saltues His Shorts  

Jeff Wedgies Slenderman  

Jeff Commits Every Sin (Except for Lust Because He Couldn't Get Laid).  

Jeff Eats A Cat  

Jeff Can't Believe He Ate The Whole Thing  

Fractal Jeff  

Jeff VS 2012 (The Movie)  

Jeff Falls In Elephant Poop  

Jeff Grows A Tomato Garden  

Jeff Dies (Of Old Age)  

Jeff Gets Brainfreeze  

Jeff Whizzes On An Electric Fence  

Jeff Crosses The Streams  

Jeff Gets Hit By A Falling Piano  

Jeff Does Stuff  

Jeff Kicks The Can  

Jeff Likes Big Butts And He Cannot Lie  

Jeff Plays AD&D  

Jeff Makes A Killer Robot Shaped Like Himself Which Instantly Turns On Him  

Jeff Is Shaved Bald  

Jeff Hatches The Egg  

Jeff Pumps Iron...Iron Maidens That Is  

Jeff Paints Happy Little Trees  

Jeff Gets Strapped To A Tomahawk Missle  

Jeff The Quadruple Amputee (He'll bite yer legs off!)  

Jeff Needs Glasses  

Jeff's GIGA DRILL BREAKER!  

Jeff Makes Out With A Cyberman  

Jeff Finds A Gundam  

Jeff Is So Tough, He Stubbed His Toe While Watering His Spice Garden And Only Cried For Twenty Minutes  

Jeff Makes A Contract With Kyubey  

Jeff Lactates  

Jeff Attacks A Porcupine, Winds Up Covered In Quills  

Jeff's Chest Wig  

Jeff Trades In His Knife For A Naginata  

Jeff Goes To Starbucks  

Jeff Itches Really Bad  

Jeff vs. A Black Hole  

Jeff Milks A Goat  

Jeff Pissed In Your Popcorn  

Jeff Wears A Rainbow Clown Wig  

Jeff Mutates!  

Jeff Eats An Unbelievably Spicy Enchilada And Breathes Fire For Five Minutes  

Jeff Discovers The Portable Hole  

Jeff's Nosebleed  

Jeff Turns To Stone  

Tickle-Me-Jeff! Press his tummy and he murders your entire family!  

Jeff Enters A Pie-Eating Contest  

Guess What's In The Pouch Of Jeff's Hoodie?  

Jeff Goes Bobsledding  

Jeff's Fingers Turn Into Minitaure Jeffs  

Mr. J!

I pity da foo' who don't GO TO SLEEP  

Jeff Goes Go-Karting  

Jeff gets attacked by WEIRD MUMMY INSECTS!  

Jeff Becomes a Cheerleader  

Jeff The Janitor  

Jeff Attempts Auto-Liposuction  

Jeff the Panda  

Jeff Doesn't Forget to Bring a Towel.  

Jeff Pilots A Dalek  

Jeff's fangirls make out with his petrified corpse from Furbearingbrick's fucked-up dream  

Jeff The Killer: The Pen &Paper RPG  

Jeff Takes Up Tap-Dancing  

Jeff Cleans Suicide Mouse Out Of His His Bellybutton  

Jeff Retains Water  

Jeff Gets A Sugar Rush  

Jeff Inhales Helium  

Jeff Gets The DT's  

Jeff Sheds His Skin  

Jeff In Heat  

Jeff's Regular Coffee Is Replaced With Folger's Crystals  

Jeff Bakes Happy Happy Into A Pie  

Jeff Churns Butter  

Jeff Kills Pirates With A Magic Whip  

Jeff buys a haunted N64 off of Ebay  

Jeff shops at the black market  

Jef gets a job at the supermarket and gets fired for spilling the eggs (he hates eggs)  

Jeff gets blocked for not updating the Article Listing and pouts  

Jeff gets a deep-tissue massage from Slendy  

Jeff gives himself an atomic wedgie  

Jeff Hates Santa  

Jeff Rides Through Town Naked On A Dappled Red Horse  

Jeff The Lardass.

GO. TO. BUTTER.  

Jeff The Killer: The Animated Series!

Aw, man. You know they totally butchered this in the dub.  

Jeff Wears Naugahyde  

Jeff Goes On Tinychat  

Jeff stumbles upon an abandoned shack and turns it into a bachelor's den  

Jeff is NOT the father  

Jeff's Facebook Account Got Hacked  

Jeff Murders Everyone Responsible For SOPA and PIPA  

Jeff's Eyebrows Jump Off His Face (wait, Jeff has eyebrows?!)  

Jeff's Hangover  

Jeff's Spiralling Depression

Jeff Takes Prozac  

Jeff's Gambling Addiction  

Jeff vs. The Thunderqueef  

Jeff Snorts Pixy Stix  

Jeff Is Tricked Into Looking At The Korean Screamer  

Jeff Creams His Pants  

Jeff Stomps Grapes  

Jeff says Hi to Kevin Federline  

Jeff Encounters A Metal Slime  

Jeff and the Giant Peach  

Jeff is Cold, Wet, and Miserable  

Slendy Tries To Get Jeff To Eat His Broccoli  

Jeff's Space Heater Electrocutes Him  

Jeff Whistles While He Works  

Jeff Pours Hot Wax Onto His Face  

Jeff Shrivels Up And Dies  

Jeff Takes The Fruit and Scoots  

Jeff Rapes An Entire Petting Zoo  

Jeff Plays With Paperclips  

Jeff The Killer Teaches Typing. Get a word wrong and you get a finger cut off.  

Jeff's Face Gets Pixellated  

Jeff vs. Cockroaches  

Jeff Grows An Extra Pair Of Arms (for extra stabbing)  

Jeff's Colonoscopy  

Jeff Jumps Off The Golden Gate Bridge  

Jeff Suffers From Micropenis  

Jeff Is Inflicted With A Gypsy Curse  

Jeff Rides A Unicycle While Juggling Bowling Pins And Smoking A Pipe  

Jeff Takes A Relaxing (blood)Bath  

Jeff vs. The Flies That Always Seem To Follow Him Around (seriously, he must REEK with the not bathing and the blood and all)  

Jeff Sprouts Antlers  

Jeff Gets Kicked In The Head By An Ostrich  

Jeff Goes Hang-Gliding  

Jeff Is Abducted By Aliens  

Jeff Gets Stuck In The Chimmney (just don't ask what he was doing there)  

Jeff Breaks Into Fort Knox  

Jeff Goes Window Shopping  

Jeff the Misunderstood Alien Ninja Slug.  

Jeff's Tragic Nutella Addiction

NOTE: The following three entries are based on a true story. I'm not mentioning the name of the perpetrator, but it pretty much went down like this.

Jeff Makes Death Threats To An Admin On His Blog Post, Then Gets Butthurt When Called On It.

Jeff Makes A Wiki Dedicated To Insulting The Admin Who Banned Him and Denies He Did It; Said Wiki Gets Deleted 5 Minutes Later

Jeff Gets Globally Banned From Wikia And Pouts

Jeff sees this page and weeps for the future of humanity. THEND!

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